My daughter Emily talks to her imaginary friends. We think that’s weird.

Meanwhile, we talk to our imaginary enemies – and those conversations are often full of negative self-talk. That’s not weird?

On a drive back from the Duchess County carnival, Emily took out her phone, tapped in a contact number and after a brief pause began talking.

“Hi Ray, it’s Emily, how are you?” Pause. “Uh-huh, that’s good, I’m glad you went to see a movie …Yes, I’m good. My family spent the morning at the carnival.” Pause. “Yeah, it was really fun. My sister and brother went on the water fall ride and got soaked! (She starts giggling). I loved the carousel ride and the cotton candy…yes, they’re still soaked. No, I’m dry. Dad played the cup game and won me a bear…”

All this would have been normal chatter on a car ride home with a family of four kids. Except my daughter was 12-years-old and talking to her imaginary friend on a toy phone.

Emily capitalizes on the happy-making activity of being social and lingering over a good experience.

She has imaginary conversations with her friends all the time. She calls them when she has good news to share or when she’s bored. And she’s also eager to hear how they’re doing. My daughter really savors her good times, from a day at the carnival to sharing a funny story with a (real) friend.

Most people are in such a hurry to control the future, that they miss out on lingering over the fun they just experienced. Talking on toy phones is obviously not something normal people do (although I now recommend it), but there’s a lesson to be learned from Emily’s activity.

The next time you’re distracted or can’t fall asleep, notice whether you’re having an internal phone call with an imaginary enemy. And be on the look out for any negative self-talk. Are you re-hashing an old conflict, or mentally arguing over something that’s already happened or has yet to happen? Is your imaginary conversation building from a slow burn to a self-imposed seething?

Take Emily’s advice and hang up now!

Breathe, re-set and re-dial. Call a person you love, and if that’s not convenient, call an imaginary friend. Tell them about your day, share your hard time, ask advice and express gratitude.

You’ll feel better about yourself. And feel happier too (read this post for more happiness tips). I know this from personal experience because Emily reminds me that enjoying the good stuff is so much better than sweating the small stuff.

But you don’t have to take my word for it. Stop talking to your imaginary enemies and try talking to your imaginary friends instead. Then let me know how you feel in the comment section below.

Heartfelt wishes,
Amy

Photo credit: Adobe