In my life and the lives of many of my patients, I’ve witnessed how hard it can be to achieve personal fulfillment and go after the things you care about the most.

Many of us are plagued by self-doubt, worry and procrastination so debilitating that we don’t start that creative project, open a business, deepen a relationship, or train for a marathon. So how do you overcome the mental obstacles that get in the way of achieving personal fulfillment, and going after your dreams and goals?

First you need to understand that one of your brain’s most important primary functions often gets in the way of you achieving your goals. Your brain has evolved to protect you from harm and teaches you to be cautious, vigilant, fearful, and on the defensive.

The evolutionary purpose of this was useful since you couldn’t achieve anything if you’d been mauled by a tiger. But unfortunately brain often over reaches and triggers fear not just when you see a tiger, but when you meet new people, face a challenge, or plan to go after what matters most to you.

In fact, the more you want something, the greater the fear. And brain would have you avoid the risk of failure by procrastinating, underestimating your abilities, and overestimating the likelihood of failure.

If you’re like me, you were raised to believe that you could solve any problem if you thought about it hard enough. So you honed your intellect and used that as your best weapon to achieve your goals.

However, it turns out that as amazing and useful as our brains are, there’s some stuff brain can’t figure out.

Like how to stay focused, confident and effective in pursuit of personal fulfillment and goals you care most about. In the face of potential failure, rejection or harm, your brain also deploys a vast repertoire of fearful emotions. These include things like worry, hostility, dread, panic, impatience, and irritability.

These emotions feel so awful that as much as you might long to achieve your goals, you may shrink away from the pursuit of personal fulfillment in an effort to reduce the painful intensity of fearful emotions.

How in the world do you go after what you want when your brain is often shouting out, “Be cautious!” “Stand down!” “Don’t risk it!”

You go after what you want by changing directions, and moving out of brain and into Heart.

Heart is the metaphor I use to refer to a collection of underused abilities I first observed in my daughter Emily, who is now 21. Emily was born with a congenital brain malformation and significant intellectual disabilities. If I were to go just by Emily’s IQ, I would not expect her to do very well at all, and in many domains, she needs assistance.

Yet Emily is one of the most effective, purposeful and confident people I know. I’ve watched Emily grow beyond all expectations and persist despite many physical and mental challenges. Over the years, I’ve come to understand that she has a secret inner resource that each and every one of us can call on when brain power is not enough. And that is Heart.

Pre-Emily, I would not have recognized that Heart is the key to personal fulfillment and achieving what you most want. I would not have recognized that the path to achievement was the same path as tapping into heart. Heart is the secret to getting rid of fear because fear and love cannot coexist.

The scale of your problems diminish in Heart. Bring in Heart, and whatever made you seethe, worry, or feel guilty will look quite different to you, and feel smaller and more manageable. Heart is what allows you to learn what you need to improve because Heart is fine with making mistakes.

It’s Heart that gets you through the inevitable tough times in going after your dreams, because Heart frees you from having to have things a certain way for your life to be excellent. Heart also offers a way to cope in cases of failure or disappointment. That’s because Heart perceives you as worthy, no matter what is happening. Heart provides the ability to find calm in the storm.

Heart IS the calm in the storm.

Heart is what you need when you’re wiped out by fear and need a second wind. It’s also where you are when life is at it’s best and you experience the sweet glory of achieving your personal hard-earned goals.

I’m excited to show you in-depth how to tap into Heart in my book, The Power of Heart (coming out November 2019 and available to pre-order now). As a psychiatrist, teaching how to access Heart has transformed my work with patients in my private practice. I’ve witnessed over and over again how getting out of brain and into Heart made life deeper and richer, less stressful, and more meaningful.

Tapping into Heart helps your brain perform better, and makes you stronger and smarter than you’ll ever be trusting only your brain. Heart allows you to live with uncertainty, find strength and persistence in tough times, and cast off self-criticism and doubt.

I’ve experienced how tapping into Heart allows you to achieve personal fulfillment, and I know you can do this too. Another benefit is that you’ll become more confident and experience more joy in your life.

Embracing the power of Heart is how you’ll conquer mental obstacles and achieve personal fulfillment. I’ve included links to many of the blog posts that discuss how to do this so you can get started now, and will go into greater detail when The Power of Heart is released.

Start tapping into Heart and let me know how you feel in the comment section below.

Heartfelt wishes,
Amy

Photo credit: Spencer Watson